Day 245 - Mentoring Women and My Experiences

I never thought in a million years that women would reach out to me when they're struggling. But they are. I never thought I would be online encouraging and uplifting fellow Christian women through prayer and messages...but I am.

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If you had told me even two years ago that I would be confronted with women's issues ranging from infidelity to witchcraft to homosexuality to turning their back on God, I would've laughed out loud.

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Daily...when I log onto the internet and seek out my online Christian women's group...there are women reaching out for help in their lives. They're struggling and hurting, in pain and broken-hearted. In fact, that's the way I started out in the group myself just 8 short months ago. It's amazing how God can turn a family around in eight short months...and then begin to use me to mentor other women who are hurting.

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I look back on all of my marital struggles, on my parenting struggles, and other issues in my life, and now I can see that God can use my past hurts to help other women get through their own times of depression and worry, pain and suffering.

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Sometimes...the issues that other women bring to me...the advice they are looking for or the exact scripture that will help them cling to God and His promises evade me. I struggle to find the right words of comfort or the proper verse to direct them towards.

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This is why I believe God is leading me to biblical studies through an online seminary...because with the knowledge and skills I gain, I can better help other women. But there's a hold-up: Finances. The classes are pricey, even at 50% off using a grant that was offered to me if I signed up this month.

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The pastor spoke of miraculous ways in which God can minister towards someone's financial needs: an unexpected check shows up in the mail...a donor has stepped forward and assists...all of this occuring at just the right time, without a moment to spare.

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I, for one, have never witnessed this myself. I have steadfastly created financial budgets and tried my best to stick within the guidelines. And if I'm really careful with my spending, there might be some left over for a treat for myself or my girls. This is how God has met my financial needs thus far. He has provided enough to meet our daily needs.

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I am frightened to believe that God could pull through and provide the means necessary for these biblical classes. Am I desiring something out of God's will and He won't possibly respond? Is this a time to just wait and proceed at a different time? Maybe I do wholeheartedly believe this is the exact time and place that God is calling me to pursue these studies, and I should wholeheartedly have faith that He will provide the means necessary...but what if I hope and pray for this kind of supernatural miracle...and He doesn't pull through?

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I've dealt with enough disappointment in my lifetime that I don't even place myself in situations where someone - even God - could let me down. This is my protective barrier I've built up during my childhood, my teen years, as well as my adult years. My mother taught me well enough: Work hard, be diligent in your finances, and provide things for yourself. With God's guidance in a job and a salary or even a raise, this is how God has provided financial means.

* * * I don't know how to have faith to step into the Jordan River, trusting God will provide. I prefer Moses' way: God parts the waters, and then I move forward.

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God, I'm struggling with this type of faith in You. I am hesitant to trust that in the next 15 days, you will provide the money necessary for me to pay for and take these online classes. I know it can't be against your will...I know that you are leading me in taking these classes...but to have 100% peace and trust that this money will be provided in the next 15 days seems out of reach for me...so I will cautiously say, instead, that if it's Your will, then the money will come through. And if I'm to wait and take these classes at another time, then so be it. Amen.