Days 280 - 283 God is working, despite the pain

My husband has been under a lot of pressue at work lately. Issues with disgruntled employees, issues with the hardware at the restaurant not working properly, and issues with having to work both Saturdays and Sundays for six weeks straight because the owner will be out of the country.

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My husband is definitely stressed out.
And it doesn't help that I added to his stress. I discussed with him last week that I wished I didn't have to work full-time. I want to be home more in order to take better care of our children. I want to be home more to take better care of our home. And I want to work less so that I could devote more time to the mentoring program that will be starting up shortly. The problem is, my husband has grown accustomed to me picking up the financial slack in our family's budget, first at part-time, and now with full-time work.

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Don't get me wrong, I am totally blessed to have my position at work. It has been a total God-send! But I just believe that my place is not at a desk in an office from Monday through Friday, 8 - 5, and traveling out of town and away from my family. I firmly believe that a woman should be able to take care of her home and children, if she desires to, and that her husband should not require her to work in order to help meet the financial needs that he's not able to.

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I asked my husband what we could do in order to make this a possibility. He said it can't be done.

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And now he is weighed down by my desire to stay at home more often, as well as his struggles with work. And last night, when he initiated his needs and desires in our bedroom, I shut him down. I was too tired. And Olivia was still awake. I have difficulty performing when our children are home. I prefer a quiet afternoon when the toddler is sleeping and the older girls are away from the house. So my husband turned his back to me all night in bed, and then didn't give me a kiss this morning as I left for work.

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Lord, I prayed to you just last week that you might find it in your will to allow me to stay at home more, to have more time and energy for my chidlren and my husband and our home, as well as have more time to devote to the mentoring ministry/outreach. I prayed that you might lead Nord to a more lucrative position...or better yet, that you would teach us how to downsize and do with less. The problem is, my husband won't have any of that downsizing. So I prayed that the Lord might create a situation and a path for my husband in this regard.

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So even though my husband is struggling with his job situation right now, I know that You are leading and guiding...because I've asked you to. Thank you, Father, for my husband's work struggles. I know that you will teach us from these struggles. Amen.