Day 265 - Cranky Monster

I was such a crank last night. I was overtired, exhausted from the last few days' emotional crud at work, worn out from early morning Bible and prayer time with my husband, working full-time all day long, coming home and taking care of a family...that I roared throughout the house all evening.

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What I normally let slip by or reason my way through with the children, I put an instant and immediate stop to...with a roar and a growl and stomping throughout the house.

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It was 7:30 p.m., I hadn't sat down to relax all day -- not even for 5 minutes of "me" time -- and I was still going strong. My husband asked me, "Want to watch a DVD?" And I was immediately fuming. Didn't he SEE what else had to be done around our home? Didn't he realize our toddler still needed a bath, our middle daughter needed help with her musical number for the talent contest, our eldest daughter was barking orders throughout the house, and I was frantically trying to complete tasks before bedtime. Put the folding chairs into the garage so they wouldn't get rained on, bring the bunny inside so he wouldn't freeze during the night, wipe down the counters, wash a milk bottle and fill it for the toddler's bedtime bottle, wash myself up for bed and put my jammies on while toddler was throwing temper tantrums on the floor beside my feet...

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While I plopped stinky, dirty toddler into a tub of warm water and slipped in myself, my husband retreated to our bedroom, put his feet up and pulled out a book. While I was cajoling a screaming toddler to let me wash her dirty hair, my husband was spending alone time in the quiet of our room relaxing. My blood pressure sky rocketed.

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Twenty-five minutes later, while I was trying to dry off a wet, squirmy toddler and put on her jammies, brush her teeth, and read her a bedtime story...husband was still relaxed and reading.

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That's the double-standard I've been living with for years and years now. While I work full-time (am actually the bread winner of the family, even), provide health insurance and retirement and other things for our family, my job doesn't end at 5:00 p.m. No...I walk inside the front door of my home and work my rear end off until I collapse into bed at 9:30 p.m. most nights. And while I'm working my tail off in the evenings, my husband is on his Droid looking at the internet, or lying down in bed reading a book, or relaxing in the lounge chairs in the back yard.

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So if I blow my top once in a while, I think I'm allowed to do so.

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My husband remarked this morning that the decline of the family unit began when women entered the work force during the women's liberation movement of the 1960s and '70s. He was spouting off numbers and information to me about how the women's lib movement made America worse. I gently reminded my husband that any time he wishes me to stay home with the children, I will gladly do so. But then HE is to be the breadwinner and provider of everything our family needs.....silence on his part. Crickets chirping.

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Yeah, it's okay for men to blame the women for the failure of the familial unit and family infrastructure because we are in the workforce...but let's not forget that men nowadays want the fancy home, the newer vehicle, the health insurance for the family, the vacations that require the wife's added income, etc. So in a sense, our husbands are just as much at fault for the situation working moms find themselves in.

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I told my husband that if he can find a small, affordable bungalow-style house for our family to live in on his income only, I would be glad to quit my job and stay at home. Needless to say, that was the end of the conversation.

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Just like Adam who stated, "But God, Eve made me bite the apple," modern men are still pointing fingers back at their wives.