Days 287 - 290 Just a Bit More to Go!

Seventy-five days left for my one-year journey to re-discover God and His will for my life.

* * *

Funny how I thought I could get it all down pat within one year's time. But God truly has worked marvelous things in my life and my family's life since this journey began.

* * *

My life has settled into a nice routine with my husband, my job, and my children. My marriage is stronger than ever. It's not perfect by any means, but it's 100% better than it was when I began writing this! PTL! (Praise the Lord!)

* * *

Today I am researching hotels and/or camping areas in the Seattle, Washington, area. I would like to take my eldest daughter out that way to look at a few colleges. Whitworth College, in Spokane, and Seattle Pacific University, in Seattle. Both private colleges with tuition running around $35,000/year. But with grants and scholarships, I am hoping to get that knocked in half. They're both smaller Christian colleges, Whitworth the smaller of the two, with plenty of academic success at both and small student-to-teacher ratios. Plus, both colleges offer mission trips both locally and internationally, church services throughout the busy week, and fun groups for the college kids. I'm leaning towards SPU, however, after watching their on-line video of the campus and college life. I think it would be a better fit for my eldest, as well: Seattle has the type of coffee-shop atmosphere that my daughter loves here at home.

* * *

This past weekend was Memorial Day weekend. I had yesterday off of work. It rained, sleeted, hailed, and snowed all weekend long. Well, except for a few hours on Saturday when I mowed the yard and did some gardening outdoors. Sunday was church and nap. Monday was nap and a cinemark movie with the children. My youngest had never been to a theater before. She had to potty during the middle of the movie, and she yelled out, "Can you press pause, please? I have to pee!" She thought we had a remote control to press "pause" until she returned. Too funny!

* * *

I realized yesterday, after having been at home for 3 days straight performing household chores and referree-ing three rambunctious children that I'm not cut out to stay at home full-time. I was anxious to get back to work today. Part-time would be best, but I am thankful for my position and my pay and my benefits. Thank you, God.

* * *

I am plugging away at my biblical counseling studies. Yesterday I was so frustrated that I wondered why I had even begun these on-line courses. I squeeze study time after hours, after I've worked all day. I squeeze study time in at home...but am constantly interrupted by my children. I created more things to do on my to-do list by signing up for these classes. And I honestly struggled with the fact that I might not even succeed at this? Or else how God can actually use me in this?

* * *

I prayed today on my lunch break. One of the topics of conversation with God was how I just wanted to NOT make anymore mistakes. You know, like signing up for biblical counseling classes if I might fail...or other such things. And then I just said, "God, I"m done talking and asking...I just want to sit in your presence, at your feet, and feel some peace and total comfort." So that's what I did. I knelt beside my four-poster bed, silently soaking up the Lord.

Days 286 & 287 - What Has America Become?

"What has America become?" - by Ken Huber, Tawas City.

Has America become the land of the special interest and home of the double standard?

Let's see: If we lie to the Congress, it's a felony and if the Congress lies to us, it's just politics; if we dislike a black person, we're racist and if a black dislikes whites, it's their 1st Amendment right. The government spends millions to rehabilitate criminals and they do almost nothing for the victims.

In public schools, you can teach that homosexuality is OK, but you better not use the word "God" in the process. You can kill an unborn child, but it's wrong to execute a mass murderer.

We don't burn books in America, we now rewrite them.

We got rid of the communist and socialist threat by renaming them "progressives."

We are unable to close our border wtih Mexico, but have no problem protecting the 38th parallel in Korea.

If you protest against President Obama's policies you're a terrorist, but if you burned an American flag or George Bush in effigy, it was your 1st Amendment right.

You can have pornography on TV or the internet, but you better not put a nativity scene in a public park during Christmas.

We have eliminated all criminals in America...they are now called "sick people."

We can use a human fetus for medical research, but it's wrong to use an animal.

We take money from those who work hard for it and give it to those who don't want to work.

We all support the Constitution, but only when it supports our political ideology.

We still have freedom of speech, but only if we are being politically correct.

Parenting has been replaced with Ritalin medication and video games.

The land of opportunity is now the land of hand-outs. The similarity between Hurrican Katrina and the Gulf oil spill is that neither president did anything to help.

And how do we handle a major crisis today? The government appoints a committee to determind who's at fault, then threatens them, passes a law, raises our taxes, tells us the problem is solved so they can get back to their re-election campaign.

What has happened to the land of the free and home of the brave?

Day 285 - Confirmation

I love when God confirms his directions or instructions to me. Remember a few days ago, I posted about needing to slow down and allow God to guide me, as a jockey holds back a race horse just before the big race? Although the race horse is full of excitement and the sense of urgency to break into a full-tilt run, the jockey must first lead this eager horse to the starting line cautiously and slowly, making sure all is in place and everything is ready before pausing for a moment...and waiting for the starting bell to ding and the gates to fly open.

* * *

This morning at prayer and scripture-reading time with my husband, we read about how we, as Christians, must constantly wait upon the Lord for His timing, His guidance, and not get caught up in pushing our own agendas. The author stated that if are obedient to the Lord and willing to go where He is leading, then all will naturally fall into place because God is in control and not ourselves.

* * *

Isaiah 40:31:
"They that wait upon the Lord shall gain new strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not grow faint."

Day 284 - Learning to Counsel

"Who are You to judge Me?" she retorted.

* * *

She had asked me for advice and help regarding a situation. She was a single mom of a toddler, living with the toddler's father, and struggling in many areas of her life. AND...she said she was a born-again Christian.

* * *

Now, had she been married, I would've advised her differently. But since she was claiming to be a Christian and she was living with her boyfriend in sexual sin, I reiterated to her God's word on fornication. I stated that she needed to get her life back in alignment with God's will, and then the blessings would follow. Living outside of God's will, and our lives are in a constant state of chaos and rebellion. I told her that God's commandments are given not to lord Himself over us, laughing maniacally like an evil scientist might: "mwaaaaa-haaaaa-haaaa!" No, the Lord gives us these boundaries and commands so that we might be safe and blessed.

* * *

The woman told me I was judging her, and who was I to judge her!? I was shocked, actually, at the anger in her voice. She stated, "Couldn't you have said, 'Maybe you aren't quite living the perfect life, but I will pray for you and your boyfriend.'"

* * *

Nothing like modern-day Christians who won't look God squarely in the face! Instead, they'd rather God pat them on the back and say, "Oh, it's okay. Whatever your reasons are for sinning, I understand. Now go and have a blessed day!"

* * *

It just floors me, really. Well, I don't even know how I could've approached this better? I play it over again in my mind and wish I hadn't offended her...but glad at the same time that someone has said it plainly to her: Fornication is a sexual sin, and the consequences are far-reaching.

* * *

What she asked for and what she wanted were two different things. She asked for advice and guidance...which I gave...but what she really wanted was an "Atta, girl! It'll be okay! God loves you!"

* * *

Lord, teach me to be a good biblical counselor...non-judgmental but at the same time speaking your words in truth and love. Amen.

Days 280 - 283 God is working, despite the pain

My husband has been under a lot of pressue at work lately. Issues with disgruntled employees, issues with the hardware at the restaurant not working properly, and issues with having to work both Saturdays and Sundays for six weeks straight because the owner will be out of the country.

* * *

My husband is definitely stressed out.
And it doesn't help that I added to his stress. I discussed with him last week that I wished I didn't have to work full-time. I want to be home more in order to take better care of our children. I want to be home more to take better care of our home. And I want to work less so that I could devote more time to the mentoring program that will be starting up shortly. The problem is, my husband has grown accustomed to me picking up the financial slack in our family's budget, first at part-time, and now with full-time work.

* * *

Don't get me wrong, I am totally blessed to have my position at work. It has been a total God-send! But I just believe that my place is not at a desk in an office from Monday through Friday, 8 - 5, and traveling out of town and away from my family. I firmly believe that a woman should be able to take care of her home and children, if she desires to, and that her husband should not require her to work in order to help meet the financial needs that he's not able to.

* * *

I asked my husband what we could do in order to make this a possibility. He said it can't be done.

* * *

And now he is weighed down by my desire to stay at home more often, as well as his struggles with work. And last night, when he initiated his needs and desires in our bedroom, I shut him down. I was too tired. And Olivia was still awake. I have difficulty performing when our children are home. I prefer a quiet afternoon when the toddler is sleeping and the older girls are away from the house. So my husband turned his back to me all night in bed, and then didn't give me a kiss this morning as I left for work.

* * *
Lord, I prayed to you just last week that you might find it in your will to allow me to stay at home more, to have more time and energy for my chidlren and my husband and our home, as well as have more time to devote to the mentoring ministry/outreach. I prayed that you might lead Nord to a more lucrative position...or better yet, that you would teach us how to downsize and do with less. The problem is, my husband won't have any of that downsizing. So I prayed that the Lord might create a situation and a path for my husband in this regard.

* * *

So even though my husband is struggling with his job situation right now, I know that You are leading and guiding...because I've asked you to. Thank you, Father, for my husband's work struggles. I know that you will teach us from these struggles. Amen.

Days 278 & 279 Just Put One Foot In Front of the Other...

I oftentimes feel like a little, old lady who uses a walker. I have to take deliberate, careful, and itty-bitty steps to avoid crashing to the ground.

* * *

Even when I yearn to toss that walker with yellow tennis balls on the bottom to the side and break free and start sprinting...something holds me back and makes me use deliberate, careful, and itty-bitty steps. Is the Lord reigning me in, like a horse jockey does as he leads his race horse to the starting gates? "Whoa, Kimmy...whoa, girl! Just relax and get to the starting line. And when I say 'go,' then you run as fast as you can!"

* * *
I can almost see the starting line for my big race! All these years and months and days of training, and I'm nearly ready!

* * *

Lord, let me let YOU be in control of me, just as the jockey is in control of the horse he is riding. Although I want to dash to that starting line and break into the fastest and greatest run of my life, I need to be patient yet a bit longer...until you finally tell me, "Ready, set, go!"

1 Corinthians 9:24-25:

"In a race, all runners take part in it...but only one runner wins the prize. Run, then, in such a way as to win the prize. Every athlete in training submits to strict discipline. He does so in order to be crowned with a wreath that will not last...but we do it for a wreath that will last forever."

Days 276 - 277 It's Black & White to Me!

It's black and white to me. Where some people see some gray areas...I don't. To me, it's cut and dry, black and white, yes or no. There is no middle ground.

* * *

My coworkers and I were discussing issues that come up in raising daughters. Teen pregnancy, good grades, boyfriends, college life, marriage. Some situations that might arise, they see a gray area in their parenting and decision-making. To me...black and white.

* * *

For instance, I have told my older girls they aren't allowed to date boys until they're 17. And even then, it has to be casual dating, as in "Hey, let's hook up and catch a movie," or "Let's go see a basketball game together." I will NOT allow my girls to "date" boys in junior high, as some of my parenting friends would. I will NOT allow my girls to be up at night texting, as some of my parenting friends would. I will NOT allow my girls to get grades below a "B," as some of my friends allow.

* * *

A really BIG "no" is teen pregnancy. My girls know exactly where I stand on premarital sex. I've shared with them many times the pitfalls of sex before marriage. I have shared with them my own heartbreak from premarital sex (in age-appropriate ways, mind you). And I've told them in no way, shape, or form will I say sex before marriage is okay. I share with them God's word on this subject. Now, whether they choose to obey God or their own desires is another matter, so I also have stated that if they become pregnant while living in my home...they're out. I will NOT raise them and their baby, too. If they become pregnant while living in my home, I will send them to a home for pregnant teens where they will learn how to be a mom, and they will have the brunt of the mothering on them...unless they choose to put their child up for adoption.

* * *

My coworkers and my friends think this is too harsh. Why? Why should I be burdened with raising a grandchild when it's my daughter who must face her consequences for her actions. Yes, it will be difficult and heartbreaking to send her away...but this is tough love, in my opinion. She performed an adult act in having sex in the first place, and now she must become an adult and face adult issues and struggles.

* * *

My younger sister became pregnant with twins at the age of 16. I saw my own parents struggle to meet the financial, emotional, and physical needs of those precious babies...and they continued to struggle to meet their financial, emotional, and physcial needs until they left the home at the age of 18. I won't do that. I refuse.

* * *

Another area: marriage. I've told my girls straight up that they won't get a dime towards the cost of their wedding if they marry a man that we don't approve of. I refuse to fork out thousands of dollars on a wedding party for a man I dislike or don't think will make a good husband for my daughter. Sound harsh? You betcha. But I won't stand in a church full of guests and give my daughter away to a loser of a guy, and then watch her struggle in her marriage because of it. As well, I won't pay a dime towards my daughter's wedding if she hasn't completed college or training of some sort. Does this sound harsh, too? Maybe. But life is full of unforeseen circumstances and my daughter will be prepared to handle the finances of the family if her husband should be injured and unable to provide, or, God forbid, he should pass away and leave my daughter with three children to raise.

* * *

As for college life, if I am paying anything towards my child's college expenses, she better get good grades...as in all "As" or "Bs." Anything less, and my financial assistance is gone. I have intelligent, bright daughters...and for them to pull a "C" or less is completely unacceptable. This tells me they aren't taking matters seriously enough to study hard. This, too, sounds too harsh for my friends. But then again, they're okay with their kid pulling a "C" in college...so long as their kid enjoys campus life.

* * *

See, it's black and white to me. There are no gray areas here.

Lord, help me to be an upfront, loving mother to my daughters. Help me to place healthy boundaries on their lives and on their behavior. I know that God's word certainly IS black and white...there's NO gray...so why should my parenting expectations be anything less?

Days 272 - 275 My Biblical Counseling Classes

I feel like a woman stuck in the past as I try to navigate my online college classes. I click on tab after tab on the college's website, hoping for direction that will lead me to the correct place to locate information required to fulfill my class requirements...but I get so lost! It's like a sea of endless words, and I can't find the right spot to locate the information that I require. Ugh!

* * *
Give me a textbook, a spiral notebook, and a pen/pencil, and I'm good to go. I'm not so certain this online course is going to work for me and my, er, umm...age.

* * *

Lord, help me to navigate this website. Help me as I teach myself the class information and as I upload my typed Word documents to my professor somewhere on the other end. Help me to do well and to succeed. There are a lot of women reaching out to me for guidance, and I don't want to let them down...as well, I am spending a small fortune on these classes...so please, let this not be a waste of my money or my time.

__________________________________

The materials for the church mentoring program are in! DVDs, manuals, instruction booklets...now begins the task of watching and reading all of the material, praying, and asking God to guide in the women's mentoring program at the church.

Day 271 - Protecting Our Children In Schools

What happened to teachers teaching ABCs and 123s, manners and proper etiquette, as well as the Pledge of Allegiance with the words "one nation under God" included?

* * *

A new sex education curriculum that tsunami'd its way through our School Board and Legislature will now teach our 5th grade students that sex includes vaginal, oral, as well as anal sex. Kindergartners will now sit through a class that teaches them the opposite sex's body parts, as well as the medical terminology for these body parts. And instead of young children running off to a fun-filled arts class with paints and crafts, our children will instead be lined up and marched down the hall into a sex education class where a public school teacher will teach them about homosexuality and sexually transmitted disease.

* * *

My husband and I are debating private school for our younger two children. The problem is, it's SO expensive! The cost is about $450 per month per child, which is well worth the money, in my opinion, but the money is difficult to come up with. So shortly, my husband and I will be visiting our bank and discussing refinancing our home, and consolidating debt in order to accommodate the private school tuition.

* * *

What is this world coming to???? Fifty years ago, a child would be led in prayer by the teacher. Today, if a child brings a Bible to school and shares a testimony with another student, she faces expulsion. Fifty years ago, teachers demanded respect from their students and taught important subjects like math and English and History. Today, teachers want to become their pupils' friends, and they will now be teaching about anal sex.

* * *

Lord, help this country. We're falling fast....

* * *

Father, I pray that You might help us to come up with the money necessary to send our youngest two children to private school. I do not want to have my daughter taught about anal sex and homosexuality in a publicly-funded school system. Please, guide me and my husband as we navigate this slippery slope. You have blessed us with our girls, and we want raise them as You would have us raise them. amen.

Day 270 - Employee, Wife, Mother, Counselor, Friend

I am:

• Full-time working woman.


• Wife of 17 years.


• Mother to three daughters.


• Encourager and counselor to those hurting and in need.


• Friend


• Volunteer

* * *

I wear many hats. I can change my toddler's wet diaper, discuss appropriate behavior with my middle daughter, and curl my hair at the same time. I can cook a meal, shout at our barking dog, hold a telephone conversation with a friend, and write a "thank you" card simultaneously. I can spend some quality time in the bedroom with my husband, create a mental grocery list, as well as consider my chores for the day...all at the same time. I can start a pot of oatmeal on the stove, brew up some coffee, and study my bible...all at the same time. I can stand in church and sing hymns word for word...and think about my upcoming week...all at the same time.

* * *

Women are notorious for multi-tasking. We can have ten different things going at once, and pull them all off without a hitch. That's our life on a daily basis...performing multiple tasks simultaneously. I think that's one reason we tire out so quickly. We're go, go, go for hours and hours...and then we crash.

* * *

The one thing we should NOT multi-task is our prayer time with the Lord. Go to a quiet place, kneel before Him in reverence and humbleness, clear our minds of everything floating around...and just spend time with God and God alone. Peace...tranquility...renewal of our spirits.

* * *

I was complaining to my husband this morning that life is so busy and hectic! I reiterated how difficult it is to be a full-time working mother of three busy girls, take care of our home, perform all of the grocery shopping, a majority of the cooking, and try to find time for my new classes as well as a brief snippet of time for myself.

We prayed to God about the busyness of my life. My husband thanked the Lord for my job that provides much-needed health insurance and income for our home. And he asked the Lord to give me strength.

* * *

Martha welcomed Jesus into her home. She had a sister Mary who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what the Lord was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to the Lord and asked, "Do you not care that my sister has left me to do all this work by myself? Tell her to get up and help me!" But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha! You are worried and distracted by many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42

Day 269 - Life is Tough!

Life is tough. That's an understatement at times. It seems as if the good times are the rare moments in life...and life is, generally, one struggle after another.

* * *

Illness, loss, aggravation, anxiety, sadness, failure...common, everyday hurdles we humans are jumping each day of our lives.

* * *

There seems to be a lot of need for prayer for my friends right now. Cancer, family issues, financial issues...lots of my friends are facing these issues at this moment today.

* * *

How do I pray effectively for them? Is getting on my knees once a day enough? Are my daily popcorn prayers a good addition? Is God listening? Will He heal, restore, strengthen? Will He allow suffering, more pain, more questioning?

* * *

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Days 266 - 268 My Mother's Day

Yesterday was my 16th Mother's Day! I love, love, love being a mother. When I was a little girl, that was my favorite game to play, "Okay, I'm the mommy, and you're my baby," I would say to my little sister...or the neighbor kids who were younger. When my husband and I had our first date and he asked me what my dreams were, I honestly blurted out, "To be a mother and wife." I figured it was best to be honest and upfront in today's day and age when so many women had goals of being president of a large corporation, or CEO of some blossoming business on Wall Street. That statement didn't shake my husband to the core, as it had with previous boyfriends who were looking for more of a career-driven woman in their lives. In fact, my husband stated that my honest declaration to him was an instant turn-on. He was looking for a wife and a mother for his children.

* * *

Mother's Day is by far my favorite day of the year. Ask my children or anyone else I know how much I honor being a mother, how much I relish that title and occupation more than anything else this world has to offer.

* * *

My 16 year old daughter gave me a lovely gift of expensive herbal teas with a new tea infuser. These teas didn't come from a supermarket shelf and sold by the pound. No, these fancy teas are sold in their leaf form, with herbs and dried fruits mixed in. My middle daughter had made a handmade Mother's Day card that celebrated me being her mom, and she even cooked me a tasty scrambled egg and bacon on a toasted bagel sandwich. Yummy! And my toddler gave me lots of hugs and kisess and shouted, "Happy Mufer's Day, Mama!" My husband had to work all day, but I didn't mind spending time one-on-one with my three girls.

* * *

Yesterday, instead of lounging around the home and relaxing as I should have -- I'd been up for hours the night before with tummy problems -- I delved into spring cleaning a room or two, as well as planting my vegetable garden with the help of the girls. It really, really was the BEST of days. I will treasure these hard-working and productive, as well as fun, days that we four gals share together. One day, my children will be grown and gone, and I will long for their laughs and sounds to fill my home once again.

* * *

Saturday morning, a neighbor friend, who is just weeks away from expecting her new baby, asked me to come and help her prepare her home for the new arrival. I spent hours cleaning her home, scrubbing furniture, organizing and preparing a few rooms. I wish I would've had a more servant-like attitude...unfortunately, I was a bit angered that one of my precious days off was spent cleaning another woman's home...especially since this woman is so pampered that she has the luxury of staying at home all day long. I asked God to forgive my anger towards my neighbor friend and to help me pour myself into the task before me wholeheartedly. Here's a woman whose husband caters to her every need and desire, provides a home for her to live in, food on the table, and is a hardworking, tender, and sensible man...and she stands there and complains to me about how rough her life is.

* * *

Thank the Lord I made it through without saying something mean back at her, or shouting at her to try my life for one week...I was calm, gentle and, in the end, a good friend. I was a bit sad that I didn't have the energy to clean her whole home, but only made it through three rooms in her house before it was time to take myself and my toddler home for a late lunch and nap.

* * *

One more thing: My husband telephoned his mother yesterday. At the end of their conversation, I could hear them making plans for her and her husband and a Russian friend to come to my home and stay several nights in June. This is an answer to prayer! My husband and I have been praying for a restored relationship between my mother-in-law and I for weeks now. Although I am joyous that she is opening up and willing to come stay, I am nervous that she will behave badly towards me, and my husband will do nothing about it. I am praying that the Lord just restores this relationship 100% on everyone's end so that our family can enjoy get-togethers with one another in the future.

* * *

Oh! Late last week when my husband and I studied the bible and prayed together, he confessed that he would love for me to stay home at take care of the family and the home. Lord, you know what this family needs, so I pray that you lead us and guide us in regards to this. I trust in you. Amen.

Day 265 - Cranky Monster

I was such a crank last night. I was overtired, exhausted from the last few days' emotional crud at work, worn out from early morning Bible and prayer time with my husband, working full-time all day long, coming home and taking care of a family...that I roared throughout the house all evening.

* * *

What I normally let slip by or reason my way through with the children, I put an instant and immediate stop to...with a roar and a growl and stomping throughout the house.

* * *

It was 7:30 p.m., I hadn't sat down to relax all day -- not even for 5 minutes of "me" time -- and I was still going strong. My husband asked me, "Want to watch a DVD?" And I was immediately fuming. Didn't he SEE what else had to be done around our home? Didn't he realize our toddler still needed a bath, our middle daughter needed help with her musical number for the talent contest, our eldest daughter was barking orders throughout the house, and I was frantically trying to complete tasks before bedtime. Put the folding chairs into the garage so they wouldn't get rained on, bring the bunny inside so he wouldn't freeze during the night, wipe down the counters, wash a milk bottle and fill it for the toddler's bedtime bottle, wash myself up for bed and put my jammies on while toddler was throwing temper tantrums on the floor beside my feet...

* * *

While I plopped stinky, dirty toddler into a tub of warm water and slipped in myself, my husband retreated to our bedroom, put his feet up and pulled out a book. While I was cajoling a screaming toddler to let me wash her dirty hair, my husband was spending alone time in the quiet of our room relaxing. My blood pressure sky rocketed.

* * *

Twenty-five minutes later, while I was trying to dry off a wet, squirmy toddler and put on her jammies, brush her teeth, and read her a bedtime story...husband was still relaxed and reading.

* * *

That's the double-standard I've been living with for years and years now. While I work full-time (am actually the bread winner of the family, even), provide health insurance and retirement and other things for our family, my job doesn't end at 5:00 p.m. No...I walk inside the front door of my home and work my rear end off until I collapse into bed at 9:30 p.m. most nights. And while I'm working my tail off in the evenings, my husband is on his Droid looking at the internet, or lying down in bed reading a book, or relaxing in the lounge chairs in the back yard.

* * *

So if I blow my top once in a while, I think I'm allowed to do so.

* * *

My husband remarked this morning that the decline of the family unit began when women entered the work force during the women's liberation movement of the 1960s and '70s. He was spouting off numbers and information to me about how the women's lib movement made America worse. I gently reminded my husband that any time he wishes me to stay home with the children, I will gladly do so. But then HE is to be the breadwinner and provider of everything our family needs.....silence on his part. Crickets chirping.

* * *
Yeah, it's okay for men to blame the women for the failure of the familial unit and family infrastructure because we are in the workforce...but let's not forget that men nowadays want the fancy home, the newer vehicle, the health insurance for the family, the vacations that require the wife's added income, etc. So in a sense, our husbands are just as much at fault for the situation working moms find themselves in.

* * *

I told my husband that if he can find a small, affordable bungalow-style house for our family to live in on his income only, I would be glad to quit my job and stay at home. Needless to say, that was the end of the conversation.

* * *

Just like Adam who stated, "But God, Eve made me bite the apple," modern men are still pointing fingers back at their wives.

Day 264 - Praying to God

I really like the feeling this picture conveys. A husband and wife, bowing before the Lord in reverence, asking God to bless their work and their land and their lives, and thanking God for all of their blessings.

* * *
That's how my husband and I pray. We thank God for all of our blessings: warm home, healthy children, our jobs, our church, our salvation...and then we pray for our children, that God would guide them and lead them as they grow and mature into young women, that He would help us to be the parents He's called us to be...and that our girls would marry Godly, upright, and hardworking men.

* * *
We pray for our lost and unsaved family members, lifting them up before God's throne and asking that God would touch their hearts this day and soften their hearts to Him.

* * *

Thank you, Father, for prayer, for our time spent in communication with you and with each other as husband and wife.

* * *

3 John 1:2

"Beloved, I pray that in all things thou mayest prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers."

Day 263 - Uncomfortable Day

Today I'm upset and uncomfortable in a very big way.

Yesterday at work, I had an issue with a selfish and demanding coworker, and today it came to a head. Now, this issue involves the rest of the office, as well. See the woman's picture at the left? That's how I feel...and it's only 9:04 a.m.

My husband and I held our prayer and Bible study this morning. He confessed something to me that caused a healing wound to be re-opened. Even at 6:30 a.m., I was already crying.

And then I walked into my office, expecting to move forward through my day, and the issue with the coworker came to a head.

It's no wonder I'm uncomfortable and upset today.

Lord, you see my wounds, you know my heart. Please, be in these situations and help them to get resolved. Where there are hurt feelings, heal them. Where there is forgiveness being asked of me, help me to forgive. Where I need to change in all of this, help me to change. Amen.

"I pray out of His glorious riches that you may be strengthened with power through His spirit in your inner being."

Ephesians 3:16

Day 262 - Prayer

Cell phone text message from my husband:
"I've prayed and I believe God wants the two of us to go to bed early so we can both wake early and worship Him with prayer and Bible study. Everyday with all our heart! This is what God wants us to do. We, I owe it to Him for being such a forgiving, awesome God. Tomorrow we start and make this our first priority of everyday. We need to worship our God! I know He will give us the strength to get through our days if we just commit this time to Him. What's more important? A little more sleep...or becoming closer to the Lord Our God!"

* * *

Wow. Can you believe those words by my husband? As I read that text, my jaw dropped and my heart pounded and overflowed with love for the "new" man he has become. For nearly 17 years of our marriage, I begged and pleaded with my husband to pray a simple prayer for me, for our children, for our marriage. For nearly 17 years of our marriage, I cajoled him into attending a church service...which he sat through while picking the lint off of his pants or looking out the windows and longing to be anywhere else but in the pew beside me. For nearly 17 years of our marriage, he would yell, "Turn that crap off!" whenever I was listening to Christian music. For nearly 17 years of our marriage, I prayed and prayed to God to save my husband...at first, so he would be a better husband and father...and then so he would go to heaven.

* * *

And then I gave up. Completely and totally gave up on not only my marriage, but the chances that my husband would ever come to know Christ. I succombed to the knowledge that my marriage had failed, that I was going to be a divorced woman raising three children, and accepting this new role in life with a heavy heart. I gave up.

* * *

And within a few short days, my husband was radically changed. God knocked yet again at the door to my husband's heart...and different from all the other times, my husband opened wide that door and allowed Jesus in.

* * *

I almost can't believe it myself.

* * *

Our prayer time this morning was short but sweet. We used to pray every morning together...remember? And then life got in the way, we slept in later, the kids' needs were put before bowing down to our Lord and Savior...and before we knew it, we were studying in bed at night, when the house was quiet and the children asleep. Only we were so exhausted we weren't any good at our prayer time or our devotion to the Lord.

* * *

So then my husband's text arrived yesterday. We will begin anew. This morning was the first day of our early morning prayer/devotion time. We set the alarm for 5:30 a.m....but my husband forgot to turn the alarm "on," we we actually awoke at 6:15 a.m. We hightailed it downstairs where the coffee pot was waiting with a pot full of hot, yummy goodness. We knelt and prayed like we had done before...praying for our family, thanking God for our blessings, and praying for God to guide us and lead us both. And then we studied scripture on prayer. It was a great time of renewed fellowship together with the Lord.

* * *

"My voice shall you hear in the morning, O Lord. In the morning I will direct it to you, O Lord, and I will look up."

Psalm 5:3

Days 259 - 261 On My Knees

Psalm 95:6:

"Come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord our Maker!"

Have you ever felt so humbled at all that God has done for you, so in love with the Lord Your God, so contrite in His presence that you can't help but lower yourself before the Lord your God, not only getting on your knees, but physically prostrating yourself before the Lord Most High?

* * *

That was me this morning. It was 6:10 a.m., I had just poured myself a hot cup of coffee, and I was in the bathroom getting ready to take my morning shower when I had such a sense of humbleness and reverence before the Lord that I not only got on my knees, but I lowered myself as the picture shows before the Lord.

* * *

The house was still, quiet, and dark, with just a few songbirds beginning their melodies as the sun began to rise in the distance. I was warm, I was well-fed from our evening meal the night before, all of my children were lying in their beds...healthy and without physical infirmities; and my dear husband was still curled up in our warm and cozy four-poster bed. Everything felt so...right. And I was completely humbled and thankful to the Lord for ALL of these things.

* * *

Thank you, Lord, for this morning and my time alone with You. It felt SO good to be able to come before you with thanksgiving and praise...worshipping you without interruption. What a fabulous way to begin my work week!