Day 20 - Finding My Joy Again

I don't know if it has something to do with getting older, or perhaps it's a "change" coming about me as I approach the age of 40, but somewhere along the way, I also lost my joy. In retrospect, I think I lost my joy at the same time I lost the Lord...well, my relationship with the Lord.

I long to be joyful again...to see the beauty in life, the beauty in my home, the beauty in my family, the beauty in "being" and "existing."

I used to enjoy church. I used to enjoy reading my Bible. I used to enjoy praying for others. I used to enjoy my days at home with my children. I found joy at the library when we'd snuggle up and read books. I found joy taking walks down nearby paths, my young children excited to find butterflies and pinecones and bugs. I used to enjoy performing my housekeeping duties. I used to enjoy baking cookies and cupcakes...or cooking meals for my family. I used to enjoy even the simplest of things like washing, folding and putting away my family's laundry. I even used to enjoy ironing my husband's work shirts...starching them up crisp and wrinkle-free.

I used to enjoy teaching Sunday School for elementary-aged children. I used to enjoy volunteering at the local nursing home where I fell in love with a blind and frail elderly woman named Hazel.

Oh, I most definitely had my fair share of struggles and obstacles to overcome. But I had a joy about life that is completely missing at this point in my life.

So...where did my joy go? And how can I get it back?

I think maybe it's tied into my relationship with Christ. So logically thinking, since I am making a concerted effort to make my way back into a strong relationship with Him, I should be able to find my joy once I do so...right?

"I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me. And He heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth -- Praise to our God!" (Psalm 40:1-3).

"But let all those who take refuge and put their trust in You rejoice! Let them ever sing and shout for joy, because You make a covering over them and defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You and be in high spirits." Psalm 5:11