Day 203 - Debt

I started off married life with my own personal debt: student loans and some small credit card debt. My husband started off our married life with his own mounting debt, as well. It was a lethal combination.

We are still in debt 17 years later, despite a grandmother who left us nearly $100,000 about seven years ago. Yep, you read that right, $100,000.

We actually did use that to pay off a good portion of debt like vehicle loans and a few credit card loans...and then we put a huge chunk of it towards our mortgage. But at the time we received this money, instead of continuing to live in our tiny, fixer-upper home and completely paying off the mortgage, we moved into a larger Victorian fixer-upper home and put a large chunk of money down on this newer and prettier home.

Looking back, that was not a wise decision. Sure, we do love our home. It's really, really pretty. Lots of people who walk by tell us how beautiful it is. And we've sunk quite a bit of money into it already: $10,000 for a paint job five years ago; $7,000 for a cement floor in the large carriage house (it had just been dirt); and plenty of home improvements like new appliances, new bathroom renovation, yard renovations.

It all comes with a price tag.

And then we had our third child...and then we lost nearly $50,000 in a bad business venture...and now I am working full-time whereas I used to only work part-time in order to help pay our bills...AND my toddler has child care expenses that nearly equal our mortgage payment.

Three kids, a 100-year-old home, 10 and 15-year old vehicles in need of repair, child care, phone bills, groceries, utilities, medical bills, athletic club bills, credit card debt, etc...it just keeps growing.

What have we gotten ourselves into?!

I see the problem. I want to fix it. But we're entrenched into this lifestyle, it seems...and I can't figure out a way to make our debt go away.

My husband sees the problem and understands the problem...but he is not ready to make any drastic changes towards resolving this issue.

When I want to cancel our $110/month athletic club membership...he says not to because he enjoys working out. He says it's the only thing he has to look forward to when he gets off of work.

When I want to sell our home and move into something with less of a mortgage payment...he says absolutely not. It's not a good financial move because of the state of the depressed economy. We're staying.

We struggle every single paycheck, every single month, every single year.

I am wise with my money. I cook meals from scratch. We don't eat out. I sew. I buy used or clearance. But I could be better, I suppose.

My husband has just enough every month to pay his monthly bills...with maybe an extra $20, if he's lucky.

But we are seriously one catastrophic event away from losing everything.

If he loses his job...or I lose mine...I shudder to think.

My tires are bald. I need new ones for my 10-year-old SUV. But they're pricey...and I certainly can't afford new ones.

Our vehicles are very old. It's nearly time for a new, used vehicle. But we can't afford a payment.

One section of our roof is leaking...and we can't afford to fix it.

There is a very old ash tree looming dead and heavy branches over our bedroom window...and we can't afford to trim it.

We're attending our first ever Christian concert tonight as a family two hours away from here...and we're driving my SUV with the bald tires because it's the best vehicle we've got. The concert will end around 11 p.m., but we have to drive the 2 hours back home because we can't even afford a simple hotel room.

Yep...it looks pretty bleak when it's all laid out before me.

Lord, I pray that some way, somehow, You might teach us what to do in this situation we've gotten ourselves into. In Jesus' name, Amen.

"The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenty, but the thoughts of everyone who is hasty only to poverty." Proverbs 21:5