Day 182 - Restoration

"The Lord says, 'I will give back to you what the swarming locusts have eaten.'" Joel 2:25.

Last night was a time of restoration between my eldest daughter and her father.

He was able to fulfill his promise to fill her tank of gas. Seventy-five dollars later, he had proven to my daughter that she can, in the end, believe in her father's promises to her. He restored the relationship between himself and his eldest, and also her ability to trust men, in general. It was a good thing.

At first, when my husband had asked for her car keys so he could take her 1990 Bronco and fill it with gas, my daughter's reaction was disbelief and bewilderment.

As my husband walked out the front door, started up her truck and pulled away from the house, my daughter gave me a smile that would light up a room.

And after my husband had returned from the gas station, plunked her keys on the buffet table and had given her a hug, my daughter's joy was overflowing. Not simply because her gas tank was filled...but because her father had pulled through in his promise to her.

It was a wonderful event to watch unfold. Praise the Lord!

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Yesterday after work, my husband and I had a parent/teacher conference to attend for our middle daughter. We were a bit concerned because although our daughter receives straight As, she has a bit of difficulty sitting still and being respectful towards her teacher.

But we were overjoyed when the teacher had high praises for her and even remarked as we were being ushered out of the classroom at the completion of our conference, "Mr. and Mrs. J, you have done a fabulous job raising your child. I could only hope to be as good a parent as you two."

I will never forget that remark as long as I live. That has been my prayer since the day I gave birth to my eldest: "Lord, make me a good parent."

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And following the same topic of "restoration," my husband and I are restoring our relationship with each other with each passing day.

Last night, I had a dream -- more like a nightmare, really. I was forced to marry someone other than my husband and perform all of my wifely duties towards this man. I was frantic in my dream. Frantic because I didn't have MY husband. I looked for him everywhere. My heart beat fast, my hands sweated, and I was sick to my stomach as I searched businesses and other places around town for MY husband.

When I'd finally found my husband, I fell into his arms, kissed his sweet face, and held on so tightly that I thought I might never let go. I shed great tears of thankfulness as my husband held me in return, and loved on me in return. I felt such a sense of relief! I was where I belonged, and never would I leave his side.

I woke up shortly after this part...realizing it was just a dream...but my heart was still beating quickly. I looked over and there was MY husband, all warm and strong and perfect...lying beside me. I curled up into his arms and put my head onto his muscular chest. Ahhhhh.....

This was a very powerful dream in more ways than one. Because for nearly 17 years of my marriage, I escaped into my dream world and was married to various known and unknown men who were gentle and loving and kind to me...and I loved it. And when I would awake and find that my angry, insensitive, volatile husband was lying beside me, I would want to cry.

I learned to distance myself emotionally and physically from my husband for a lot of years. There was always a disconnect between us.

But now, because of having Christ in his life, my husband is gentle, sensitive, and patient. I call him "Manly" now because he shows a picture of what a true man should be. He thinks it's because of his muscles and leaner waistline that I call him "Manly." That's partly true, yes. But mostly, it's the whole person he has become that makes him seem so manly to me.

I want to thank the Lord for restoring my husband's relationship with our children...and for restoring my relationship with my husband. Thank you, Lord!