Day 181 - Letting Down Our Children

When I was in Ohio taking care of my sick mother post-mastectomy, it was my eldest daughter who took care of the home and the toddler...for the most part.

Sure, my husband helped and made sure the children were alive and kicking when it was bedtime, but it was really my eldest daughter who took on all of my responsibilites as "mother" and made them her own responsibilities.

In return for all of her hard work during my absence, my husband promised my eldest daughter a full tank of gas. Gas is expensive, and now that my daughter is driving, that's her greatest cause for stress...how to have the money to put gas into her empty tank.

Well, my husband -- trying to be encouraging and supportive of our eldest daughter's fine job of caretaking in my absence -- promised her a full tank of gas on his next paycheck.

She was thrilled! All of her hard work...and her father was going to thank her in a MOST-needed way.

His paycheck came...and went. He did not even give her $5 towards her gas expenses.

She reminded him several times, "Hey, Dad...remember when you promised me a tank of gas?"

"Oh, yeah....well, I'll catch it on my next paycheck."

Her shoulders kinda slumped a bit...but she trusted him at his word.

Only...the next paycheck came...and went.

"Hey, Dad...remember you promised me a tank of gas?"

"Sorry. I can't afford it this time, either." And he walked away from her.

I could see my daughter deflate instantly, like a balloon when you let all of the air out of it.

Her shoulders really slumped over, and she was crying.

Her father had let her down. He had promised something that he could not keep his word with. And now, our eldest daughter won't fall for his empty promises again.

My husband doesn't seem to think this is such a big deal. After all, we had to cancel our weekend marriage encounter due to money issues. Which I'm sad about, as well, and feeling let down.

But I'm an adult. I can handle the let-downs in life.

My 15 year old, on the other hand, can't.

She worked VERY hard taking care of house and home and toddler in my absence...her father had promised her a reward for all of her hard work...and then he reneged on his promise.

Sure...his excuse is legitimate. We do have financial struggles this month more than most months. But the damage is done.

Ecclesiastes 5: 2-7 says this:

"Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought...

when you make a vow...

do not delay in paying it. Pay it!

It is better that you NOT vow

than to vow and not pay."