Days 338 & 339 Learning to say, "I'm sorry, but I can't."

I'm not very good at saying, "I'm sorry, but I can't."

My neighbor came to our backyard about a week and a half ago with a 2-week old kitten that he'd found at the landfill. Of course, all 3 of my girls fell in love with this sweet and cute little helpless kitten. And just after my children had finished petting it for a few minutes, neighbor guy asks, "Hey, would you mind helping me out with her? I work really long hours and my wife is out of town, and I would sure appreciate it if you would feed her on your lunch breaks from work, since I don't get one."

What was I to say? "No, I can't?" And then this poor, helpless creature would probably starve to death because it would go too many hours between feedings? So I said, "Sure, I'll help you out."

Neighbor guy dropped kitten off every morning at 7 a.m. as he left for work. I would feed the kitty formula from a bottle, play with kitten, and then plop kitten in a box where she stayed until I arrived home for lunch about four hours later.

When I arrived home, kitty was already meowing for her bottle. Hurry and let my dog out to pee, then rush back inside to bottle feed a baby kitten...which is no easy task. You'd think you just plop the nipple into her mouth and she'd drink away, right? Nope. Kitten hadn't got her sucking reflexes down correctly, so mostly the milk spilled down her chin and onto her belly. She'd become frantic and claw at my hands when she would swallow and air bubble and couldn't drink. I have tiny little red scratches all over my hands from this.

After about 20 minutes of intermittent bottle feeding, burping, and feeding again, kitty would drink about 1.5 ounces. Then it was litter box time. Then it was play time. Then it was my time to eat while kitten toddled underfoot. Then it was feeding time once again, and then I'd plop her back into her box until I returned from work at 5:15 p.m. to do this whole process all over again.

Neighbor guy was supposed to pick kitty up by 6:00, but frequently he wouldn't show until 9:00 or later at night. It was frustrating trying to take care of my toddler, my older girls, my home, get food on the table, pick up the house, and take care of this helpless creature.

And after a week of doing this, neighbor guy stated he and his wife were going out of town as soon as his wife arrived home from her business trip, and could I keep kitty for 3 days and 3 nights? Well, what was I to say? "No, I'm sorry, but I can't?"

So I said, "Sure, I'll help. But you'll positively return after 3 nights, right?" "Yep, we'll return after 3 nights."

So we took on this kitty for 3 days and 3 nights.

At first, I was excited to take care of such a helpless creature. The first night she woke several times wanting her bottle. I obliged. I was a bit tired the next day, but I felt great about helping out my neighbor. The second night, when kitty woke in the dead of night with her tiny meows, I obligingly fed her and returned her to her box. But I was really tired at work that next day. The third evening approached, and I was beat. Her meows for milk in the night kind of made me angry. Why had I agreed to help? As soon as kitten was fed and returned to her box...my toddler awoke and needed me. So that was Night No. 3 was not enough sleep.

That day, despite being exhausted, I was excited that neighbor guy and his wife would return to claim their pet. But as the sun dipped down behind the mountain near our home and the moon began to shine...I realized my neighbors were not returning.

I was so tired this 4th night, that I fed kitty at 10 p.m., placed her in her box, and carried that darned box downstairs where I couldn't hear her cry for milk in the middle of the night.

I slept hard, too. I woke with the sunrise, made my way downstairs, and took care of the kitten once again. Thankfully, as I was leaving for work today, neighbor's wife popped over and took her pet away. They had arrived home at about midnight.

I nearly did a cartwheel as the woman walked the kitty and the box down the sidewalk to their home.

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Why can't I learn to say, "I'm really sorry, but I just can't help you."

It is a good thing that I helped my neighbors out, definitely. But at what cost? Maybe that's what helping someone else out is all about...it costs you to help someone else out. It cost me time with my children. It cost me sleepless nights. It cost me hectic lunch hours. It cost me peaceful and relaxing evenings.

I dunno...would Jesus have done it?