Days 335 - 337 Learning to Balance My Life

I'm 40. I have a 16 year old teenage daughter, a preteen daughter (11 years old), and a just-turned-3-year-old. I work full-time. I have a husband who works late and often works all weekend. To say that I am pulled in many directions would be an understatement.

I cook, I clean, I grocery shop...I snuggle with my toddler every night and read, I take my older girls out shopping, I write all of the extended family's thank you cards. I buy every birthday gift, every Christmas gift, for my own immedaite family, as well as extended family.

I scrub tubs and change sheets on beds and make sure my daughters get their library books returned on time at the public library. I assist with science projects, mend boo-boos, and train my girls with a Christian upbringing.

I plan our vacations, pack suitcases, and make sure all of the food is loaded in the camper for our camping trips. I apply sunscreen to my toddler's wriggling body, take my preteen swimming, and stay on top of my teenager's comings and goings.

I study for my Biblical Studies courses in the evenings after work nearly weekly. (I'm falling a bit behind in this now.)

I take care of the neighbor's newborn kitten while he goes away for a few days, get up in the middle of the night to feed it from a tiny bottle, and make sure her litter box is clean and dry for the next day. I visit with neighbors and exchange phone calls with friends and maintain the peace between my extended family members.

By the time my 40-year-old body hits the bed mattress at 9:30 p.m. most nights, I literally collapse. I know I've written it before, but my poor husband gets the scraps of whatever energy and/or time I have remaining.

I recently realized that instead of taking on more in my life...perhaps I should take on less.

I am a Big Sister through Big Brothers Big Sisters...and I have neglected my Little for far too long. I think I will gracefully bow out of this duty after 15 months of performing "sisterly" activities to a child not my own.

I am expected to work full days, maintain my home, and maintain my garden and yard on a daily basis, as well as plop all family members into our SUV and drive to evening church service on Wednesdays and early Sunday church services.

I am simply exhausted.

So I will take a break from quite a bit of my "extras" in my life, to rest and relax and get myself back in alignment, if you will.

I pray every morning, several times throughout my day at the office, and read my Bible nearly daily.

I know that God has the perfect balance in store for me, and I'm praying for His direction.
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As well, I am pondering my pastor's request that I get re-baptized into the Baptist church...since my baptism into the Assemblies Church apparently didn't "take." At least this is how my pastor feels. Despite my full-body baptism at the age of 24, the pastor doesn't like that my baptism took place at the Assemblies Church. I, on the other hand, struggle with this request. Doesn't the bible state that there is one body and one Spirit, even as you are called in one hope of your calling; One Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of all...who is above all and through all and in all. That's in Ephesians 4:4-5.

Anyhow, I am still praying about the women's mentoring program at the church, too. I need to review my original journal posts on why I wanted to start mentoring women in the first place...so that I can take the correct path and do the Lord's will in this.