Somewhere along the way, I lost Him. It's not like I tossed Him aside knowingly one day and said, "I'm done playing with you," like my youngest daughter might say to her dolly.
No. It was more like: We were walking hand in hand, and then we weren't, and then I veered off the path to forge my own and lost Him.
So now I'm calling out to Him, a tad bit panicked, even. "Here I am! Here I am! Can you see me? Can you find me? I can't see you anymore! I'm lost and I'm high up on this mountain side and I don't know my way!" My voice echoes throughout the valley below...but there's no answer, no reply of help on the way. My hands are cold. I wish I could hold His again at this very moment.
But my actions in forging my own path, going higher and higher onto this mountain alone (excited at first at the beauty and the scenery), have taken me into the Wilderness. And I am without my Guide.
It was a long time ago that I started out on my own path. At first, I kept my path parallel to His. At times, I'd look over and see Him nearby and think I was okay to keep traveling on my own rocky road. Then my path veered a few times too sharply away from His path, and then I couldn't see Him any longer...but once in a while I could hear Him calling my name. Security.
I veered again. This time, no more sight of Him...and no more could I hear Him call my name. Just me...and the Wilderness. Panic now. What had I done? How can I find my way back? I'm clawing my way through the thick brush that scrapes my ankles and burns my knees. It's not so bright on this path. Darkness. Tall trees that cast shadows and make me shiver with fright.
I want to find my way back to Him. I'm calling...I'm exhausted from fright...will He hear me? Will He meet me and take my hand and lead me once again?
This is Day 1 of my cries to Him...How do I find Him again?
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