Days 313 - 318 Odds & Ends

My family stayed in a cabin near the Mission Mountains over the weekend, along with my mother-in-law, her husband, and a friend from Russia.





I find that I'm a bit on edge around my mother-in-law, but nothing that a shorter visit can't cure! I am thankful that the Lord has at least healed our relationship enough that we can both be in the same room with each other and visit with our families.





My husband and I are trying to refinance our home from a 6.5% 30-year mortgage to a 4.5% 20-year mortgage. If the appraisal is satisfactory, it should go through without a hitch. This will save us nearly $700/month in personal debt. Although the mortgage payment will increase by a few hundred dollars, we'd still be saving money monthly. So we are praying about the refinance.

As well, we are discussing the possibility for me to return to work part-time in the nearby future. We will see how this pans out, as well.

Philippians 2:13 says, "For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose."

Days 311 & 312 - You Can't Believe It...But It's True!

I think my girlfriends and I are a tad bit sheltered. We know the stories of mothers who neglect their children, but we don't really believe they're living next door to us.

The truth is, neglectful mothers live all around us. They live on our street, in our neighborhood, and they're increasing in numbers every year.

It used to be that a woman learned her mothering and caretaking skills from her own mother. But in today's disjointed society, this is no longer the case. Grandmothers and aunties don't have the influence they once held, either.

In church, we tend to see the good mothers with their happy children.

But I guarantee if you walked some of the streets in your town, you would find hundreds of poor mothers out there.

They don't know how to cook a healthy meal. They don't know how to train up a child. They don't know how to form a bond with their children. They don't know how to properly take care of a home. They don't know how to budget. They expect preschools and schools and the television to raise their child. These mothers are selfish by nature. They will spend hours watching a series of television programs rather than sit with their child and read. They will spend hours on their computer, surfing the internet, rather than go outside and get active with their children. These mothers cuss around their children, shove them to the side, make them fend for food when they're hungry, and neglect them in all manner of ways.

And if you don't believe me...walk the streets of any city and you will see this to be true.

Women don't even take care of themselves, let alone their spouse or children. They don't have proper hygiene. They are sloppy dressers, wearing slippers and sweat pants all day long. They have bags and sags underneath their eyes on a continual basis as they suffer from depression. They relationships with their boyfriends suffer dramatically. And I say "boyfriend" because many women have multiple children by multiple men and switch up living partners faster than I change the sheets on our bed at home.

These women need help! They need a female mentor to come alongside of them and train and teach them how to shop for healthy foods, how to bake a healthy meal, how to spend time with their children, how to take care of themselves, and how to have enough self-respect to set limits on the number of men they sleep with.

God is calling me to help these women...and I am willing to do so. I just need a bit of help in finding my way to start this program and help these lost and hurting families.

Lord, will you guide me and lead me? Will you show me how to do this? Thank you for giving me a heart for these women and families, and help me to serve these women with a loving and kind heart. Amen.

Days 308 - 310 - God is SO Good!

I was 16 or 17 years old when the cranky, grumpy electrician walked onto the construction site. Elmer, his absolute real name, had marched his way onto my father's construction site in the same manner for days on end, his overweight belly leading the way through the threshold of the newly-built doorway, as he shouted and barked orders and grumbled about his morning.

But that morning, while he was in the middle of his tyrannical outburst, I stood up from the electrical outlets I was working on, quickly walked over to him, and hugged him with the biggest bear hug I could squeeze onto that middle-aged and portly man.

Elmer immediately melted into a puddle of tears as he held me back with just as much force as I held him. And from then on, we were fast friends. From then on, Elmer walked through the doorway of the construction site with a smile on his face as I would jump up from whatever task I was performing and greet him with a morning hug.

This scenario played through my mind as I was praying for the millionth time that the Lord would help me reconcile with my estranged mother-in-law, who was due to arrive at my home in a few short hours. "Okay, Lord...I get what you're telling me to do. I can do that. It won't be easy, but I'll obey your nudge in this, if this is what it'll take for us to be friends once again."

Two hours later, my mother-in-law pulled up to the house. My children ran outdoors, screaming and hollering in excitement. I took a deep breath...and walked out to greet her, too. My heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty. She hugged each child one by one, and then stood and looked at me. I walked to her, put my arms around her neck, and hugged her with a hug just like I'd given Elmer all those years ago. And she held on just as tightly. We stood there hugging one another for quite a bit. And then we pulled away and looked into each other's eyes and smiled.

Yep, God had done it again! God had intervened in my life when everyone else said it couldn't possibly happen. When I thought the situation was doomed and hopeless, God repaired it and mended it without leaving a single danging thread. God is SO good!

"Stop being mean, bad-tempered and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives. Instead, be kind to each other, forgiving...because you belong to Christ." Ephesians 4:31-32 TSB.

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When the company had gone for the evening and my husband and I were lying next to one another in bed, we thanked the Lord for the restoration in my relationship with his unsaved, non-Christian mother. God truly has worked in this triangle of relationships: mother-in-law, son, daughter-in-law. God has helped my husband learn to cut the apron strings that bound him to his mother...God has taught me how to forgive someone who has hurt me so deeply...and God has worked in a non-saved woman's heart in leading her towards reconciliation. Praise the Lord!

Day 307 - Abbie and Neuroblastoma

This is Abbie. She's 6. She has neuroblastoma. Her cancer was discovered when her mother, Brandie, took her to the doctors for some seemingly non-threatening health issues. Turns out, Abbie had a very large tumor in her abdomen, and it can't be cured.

* * *

Abbie has undergone a year's worth of surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation. Needless to say, her outlook is grim. Doctors have quit treating Abbie's cancer and are now making her comfortable. Abbie's mother, Brandie, must be devastated. I know I would be.

* * *

I don't know Abbie or her mother. I know their friend, Jennifer, who told me of Abbie's condition. I spent two days crying. I can't get this sweet little girl's face out of my mind. I can't believe the amount of pain and suffering this sweet, young baby has had to endure...all for naught.

* * *

I don't understand it. I mean, I know intellectually that God has all things in His hands, that He gives and He takes away. But taking a child away like this is so, so...heartwrenching! My eyes have been swollen all day at work. On my lunch break, I broke down at my kitchen table and bawled like I haven't bawled in years. My heart breaks for not only Abbie, but her mother. How does she endure? How does she carry on? How gut-wrenching it must be to tuck your child into bed at night, knowing that very soon, she won't be alive when you go to her in the morning. How heart-breaking it must be when your child smiles up at you and whispers, "I love you, Mama," because you never know if it'll be the last time you hear your precious child's terms of endearment.

* * *

Brandie is a single mother, and Abbie her only child. Take her child away, and Brandie has nobody.

* * *

Father God, I pray that you might bring comfort to Brandie as she struggles to maintain her composure around her dying child. I pray that you might bring others into her life who might walk this death walk with her, side by side, encouraging and prodding her forward through her days. I pray that you might bless mother and daughter with quiet days together, snuggled in one another's arms. And I pray that you might bless Brandie for her continued faith in You, despite the grim future for her beloved baby girl. Amen.

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Brandie's words in her online journal: "God is good. That's all there is to it."

Day 306 - Get a Move On It!

I need to get a move on it! I need to quit feeling as if I have to have all of my paperwork ready, or all of my syllabus ready in order to begin the mentoring program at church. Just Do It!

* * *

I was feeling like I had to thoroughly read through books on mentoring women, or get my strategy down for the year of the mentoring program...when really, what I need is just to take that first step of faith and start it, and let God lead me as we go. At least that's what I think.

* * *

I need to also re-focus my desire and direction for this group. Originally, I wanted to bring in the younger women of the surrounding community/neighborhood for a mentoring program, and not necessarily keep it strictly within the church. My goal and plan and prayer was to get the younger wives and mothers of the surrounding area into the church to learn how to BE good wives and mothers...not necessarily focus on how to grow their Christian walk with Christ...although that would be an end result, for sure.

* * *

But initially, the women would want to come to learn how to be organized in their home, how to budget their finances and cook healthy meals, how to stay active outdoors with their husbands and children, and how to have a stronger marriage. As well, I wanted to have some of the more experienced mothers of the church discuss breasfeeding issues new moms might face, or how to survive the toddler years, or how to cope with a rebellious teenager. These are the areas I wanted to focus on, with a scripture and a prayer at the end to solidify God's authority in our lives. Hopefully, some of these young mothers might even decide to start attending our church, or a different church. But at least get them in the doors.

* * *

So Lord, I pray that you might focus me to do your will in beginning this mentoring program for the hurting and lost younger moms in the community. Help me to reach out and touch these women's lives through your power and your spirit. Help guide me and this outreach. Amen.

Day 305 - Peace Once Again

I finally feel rested and peaceful once again. After months and months of hectic pace, harried evenings, and stressful weekends...I feel peaceful.

* * *

I think one reason is because I took a personal day off of work to spend with my children and love on them. I think another reason is that I'm back to praying alone to my Lord, and reading my Bible in solitude. It's nice and lovely to pray alongside my husband or share a scripture and commentary...but nothing beats time alone with God. Nothing.

* * *

I think another reason I feel peaceful and well is that the sunshine is here! After being cooped up inside a cold and dark home, and after spending nearly all spring in drizzling rain...the sun has popped out from behind the dark, gray clouds and I can take a leisurely stroll in the sun's rays or even relax out in the back yard soaking up the sun's warmth.

* * *

So thank you, Lord, for the sunshine and the peace once again. I feel like I can handle anything thrown my way. I think. :) Thank you for reminding me how important my one-on-one time with You is for my well-being. Amen.

"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength..." Isaiah 40:31

Day 304 Feelings of Inadequacy

"But am I not a Benjamite, from the smallest tribe of Israel, and is not my clan the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin?" 1 Samuel 9:21

* * *

Saul was definitely feeling inadequate when Samuel, the great seer, spoke to him and invited him to dine at his home. Samuel also told Saul a foreshadowing of events to come in his life.

* * *

Saul, although of tall stature, even standing heads above everyone else, felt inadequate at his upbringing in the tribe of Benjamin, the least of all clans. In the heirarchy of the clans of God's chosen people, his tribe, his family members, were the lowest on the totem pole.

* * *

How often do we, like Saul, say the same thing: "But I'm not worthy!" or "I don't measure up." With God, our inadequacies are an opportunity for Him to show His glory, just as He did with Saul. "As Saul turned to leave Samuel, God changed Saul's heart, and all these signs were fulfilled that day." (1 Samuel 10:9).

* * *

God, please use my inadequacies for your glory, just as you used Saul's inadequacies for your glory. Help me to overcome my own feelings of inadequacy and move in the direction you are calling me to go. Amen.