Day 208 - It's Always Something!

Okay, this isn't my truck, but it's representative of what happened to my SUV last night at about 12:30 a.m.

My husband and I were sound asleep when there was a huge crash and horn honk. We were instantly awake and rushing to the bedroom window to look out towards the street. We both expected to see a head-on collision at the intersection near our home.

What we saw was a red minivan backing away from the front end of my SUV, then slowly driving down the dimly-lit street.

We kind of looked at each other with a look of bewilderment...and then it hit us: The driver had struck MY truck!

Sure enough, he had. And he had slowly driven away. Too bad we weren't more alert at that time of night to get our act together and run out to get a license plate for the police who arrived within minutes.

I jumped into my husband's rig and went driving around the neighborhood looking for the slithering snake of a man but couldn't find him anywhere. He was gone. Poof!

After filling out the police reports, my husband and I lay back down to bed, our heads reeling.

I swear to God, if it's not one thing it's another. Just when I think I'm finally coming up for air, I get pulled under by a deep undercurrent. Who knows when I'll come back up from this one. My husband figures it'll cost about $4,000 to fix the truck. It isn't even drivable today.

We do have insurance...but that comes with a high deductible...which we DON'T HAVE! $500! I don't even have an extra $20 bill after payday...which was just today, LOL. Ho, hum...

I lay in bed last night fighting a migraine and beginning to spiral down into depression.

But then a song played in my mind: "I will praise you in the storm." So I lay there humming this tune to myself, and then prayed to the Lord and said, "You know what? I will praise Your name through this, too." And I did.

Day 207 - Honoring God

I woke up at 4 a.m. and had a strong desire to tell the Lord that my only desire is to honor Him with all I do and with all I say and with my whole "being."

My calling as "wife" and "mother" is not to be taken lightly. Even before I conceived my first child, I prayed to God that if He should grant me the blessing of children, I promised to raise my children to know Him and to serve Him and to love Him.

And I have done just that. I have shown my children unconditional love...which is something our Father shows us. I have taught my children that God is real, that God has a plan for each of their lives, that God forgives our sins, that God leads and guides and calls each one of us to be genuine in our faith and genuine in our love for others.

From the time my children were infants cradled in my arms, I have prayed over them and asked God to guide them and lead them. And from the time each child was itty-bitty and swaddled up in their fuzzy blankies, I prayed for their future spouses and their future spouses' families.

I have led by example, too. Of course, I'm not a perfect person, so I have failed in my parenting skills a time or two (wink, wink), but through my failures, I am able to ask forgiveness from my children and pray that God would give me wisdom in my parenting abilities.

I also have tried to honor God as best I can in my marriage. It wasn't always easy. Many times over the course of my marriage, my friends would question why I stayed with such a man. At times, I didn't even know the answer to that. At times, I wanted to run.

But in the end, I showed my husband as best I could how a loving wife should be.

I want to honor God in my role as parent and wife...and I ask God to show me how every year of my life.

"Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older they will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

"You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." 1 Peter 3:4

"Children are a gift from the Lord...a reward from Him." Psalm 127:3

"A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Proverbs 31:10

Days 204 - 206 Our First Christian Concert

On Friday night, we attended our first ever Christian concert in Missoula, MT.

It was a two-hour drive over. We arrived at the stadium at 5:15 p.m. Already there was a long line of folks waiting to get into the doors. Luckily, my husband had thought ahead and purchased special "groupie" T-shirts that got us into seating a half hour before everyone else. Kudos to my hubby for that one!

The stadium was filled to capacity at 7,000 audience members before the scheduled start time. Hundreds and Hundreds of folks were turned away at the gate.

We sat in the fourth row, center to the stage. The music was so wonderful! From Christian rock bands to Christian rap group to Praise and Worship songs...thousands of Christians from young to old were raising their arms to Jesus and praising His Holy name!

For five hours we stood and sang and worshipped. And at 11:15 p.m., we finally made our way out of the stadium and to our cold, parked SUV.

It was a very long two-hour drive back home. We're no spring chickens any longer, and we had a difficult time staying awake on that long and dark drive through canyons and mountains.

The next day was worse. Our poor, old bodies felt like they had been run over by a semi truck. In fact, it took us two full days to recover. We're STILL recovering, LOL.

I want to thank the Lord for our fabulous family time together, our safe journey there and back. Amen.
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Psalm 81:1: "Sing aloud unto God our strength."

2 Samuel 6:14: "and David danced before the Lord with all his might."

Day 203 - Debt

I started off married life with my own personal debt: student loans and some small credit card debt. My husband started off our married life with his own mounting debt, as well. It was a lethal combination.

We are still in debt 17 years later, despite a grandmother who left us nearly $100,000 about seven years ago. Yep, you read that right, $100,000.

We actually did use that to pay off a good portion of debt like vehicle loans and a few credit card loans...and then we put a huge chunk of it towards our mortgage. But at the time we received this money, instead of continuing to live in our tiny, fixer-upper home and completely paying off the mortgage, we moved into a larger Victorian fixer-upper home and put a large chunk of money down on this newer and prettier home.

Looking back, that was not a wise decision. Sure, we do love our home. It's really, really pretty. Lots of people who walk by tell us how beautiful it is. And we've sunk quite a bit of money into it already: $10,000 for a paint job five years ago; $7,000 for a cement floor in the large carriage house (it had just been dirt); and plenty of home improvements like new appliances, new bathroom renovation, yard renovations.

It all comes with a price tag.

And then we had our third child...and then we lost nearly $50,000 in a bad business venture...and now I am working full-time whereas I used to only work part-time in order to help pay our bills...AND my toddler has child care expenses that nearly equal our mortgage payment.

Three kids, a 100-year-old home, 10 and 15-year old vehicles in need of repair, child care, phone bills, groceries, utilities, medical bills, athletic club bills, credit card debt, etc...it just keeps growing.

What have we gotten ourselves into?!

I see the problem. I want to fix it. But we're entrenched into this lifestyle, it seems...and I can't figure out a way to make our debt go away.

My husband sees the problem and understands the problem...but he is not ready to make any drastic changes towards resolving this issue.

When I want to cancel our $110/month athletic club membership...he says not to because he enjoys working out. He says it's the only thing he has to look forward to when he gets off of work.

When I want to sell our home and move into something with less of a mortgage payment...he says absolutely not. It's not a good financial move because of the state of the depressed economy. We're staying.

We struggle every single paycheck, every single month, every single year.

I am wise with my money. I cook meals from scratch. We don't eat out. I sew. I buy used or clearance. But I could be better, I suppose.

My husband has just enough every month to pay his monthly bills...with maybe an extra $20, if he's lucky.

But we are seriously one catastrophic event away from losing everything.

If he loses his job...or I lose mine...I shudder to think.

My tires are bald. I need new ones for my 10-year-old SUV. But they're pricey...and I certainly can't afford new ones.

Our vehicles are very old. It's nearly time for a new, used vehicle. But we can't afford a payment.

One section of our roof is leaking...and we can't afford to fix it.

There is a very old ash tree looming dead and heavy branches over our bedroom window...and we can't afford to trim it.

We're attending our first ever Christian concert tonight as a family two hours away from here...and we're driving my SUV with the bald tires because it's the best vehicle we've got. The concert will end around 11 p.m., but we have to drive the 2 hours back home because we can't even afford a simple hotel room.

Yep...it looks pretty bleak when it's all laid out before me.

Lord, I pray that some way, somehow, You might teach us what to do in this situation we've gotten ourselves into. In Jesus' name, Amen.

"The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenty, but the thoughts of everyone who is hasty only to poverty." Proverbs 21:5

Day 202 - He's Not Finished With Me Yet

Last night in church service, Pastor spoke about Moses being in the desert and how God used this time to prepare Moses for bigger and greater things.

Maybe Moses was totally content sheparding his sheep...or maybe Moses just went through the daily business of being a shepard and longed for something greater...I really don't know.

But during this time, God grew Moses' faith and character.

It was only after Moses spent 40 years in the desert that the Lord said, "It's time...Moses, will you go?"

I often feel like I am waiting for bigger and better things to happen...to be used by God in a greater way than just working Monday through Friday, 8 to 5, and then taking care of my home and family on weekends.

But perhaps this is my time of "waiting," a time when God will grow my character and my faith.

I heard a song on the way home from church last night that confirmed the Pastor's words, and the chorus goes like this:

"He's Not Finished With Me Yet" -- by Brandon Heath

There is hope for me yet

Because God won't forget

All the plans He's made for me

I have to wait and see...

He's not finished with me yet.

Still wondering why I'm here

Still wrestling with my fear

but oh, He's up to something

And the farther out I go

I've seen enough to know

That I'm not here for nothing...

He's up to something!

There is hope for me yet!

Because God won't forget

All the plans He's made for me

I have to wait and see...

He's not finished with me yet.

He's not finished with me yet.

Day 201 - Wife and Mother

This photo was taken on Halloween 2010. We had a fabulous get-together with lots of friends, a bon fire in the front yard, and tons of food and laughter.

This is me and my 3 children and my husband...yes, that truly IS my husband in the pink boa.

I was reminded not only by some dear friends but also by the Lord that my mission right now in my life is "wife" and "mother." I need to direct my attention and focus my energies on these important tasks that the Lord has blessed my life with.

Holding together a marriage is no easy undertaking. Even for a Christian couple, there are stressors and struggles that I will need to pray my way through, be an obedient and respectful wife through, and forgive through.

Raising three energetic and emotional girls is no easy task, either! Raising them to love and honor God our Father will take dedication, living through example, and loving unconditionally.

I have struggled with becoming a foster parent for quite some time now. Although I know our home is a good one and any child would be welcomed and blessed...I am uncertain how I find the time to focus on a forsaken, tramatized child. I think it just isn't my time to become a foster parent...although my intentions were noble ones.

Even finding time to take the classes to be certified is an arduous undertaking which will take time away from my biological children...and I'm not even a foster parent yet! So I can only imagine the energy and time taken away from my own children while I love on such a needy child.

I think I will pass on becoming a foster parent at this time...and I pray that I am not letting down my Lord. That would be an awful mistake for me...to let my Savior down.

I will focus on buying healthier groceries, cooking healthier meals, keeping a more organized home, volunteering at my church on Wednesday evenings, volunteering as a "Big" for my "Little" through Big Brothers Big Sisters, and raising my children and being a godly wife.

And if there's still time in my day...I say this tongue in cheek...I will focus on my relationship with my God and Savior, Jesus Christ.

"An unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord's affairs. Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and in spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world and how she can please her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:34

Day 200 - Thanking God for Everything

"Oh, give thanks to the Lord!" 1 Chronicles 16:8

"At all times and in everything, give thanks in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father." Ephesians 5:20

Today I am simply thankful.

I am thankful for our warm home on cold nights. I am thankful for the soft beds we sleep in, the flannel jammies we wear, and the comfy pillows we rest our heads on.

I am thankful for the food that fills our hungry bellies.

I am thankful for our jobs that pay our bills and provide health insurance, retirement savings, and vacation days.

I am thankful for our three beautiful and healthy and intelligent daughters.

I am thankful for my hard-working, newly-saved husband.

I am thankful for my health.

I am thankful for my friends and family.

I am thankful for my new church family and our incredibly knowledgeable and passionate pastor.

I am thankful for the Lord Jesus in my life.

I am thankful for my mother's healing.

I am thankful that I can attend this weekend's Christian concert with my family.

I am thankful for the ways God uses me to touch others in His name.

I am thankful for the trials God has brought me through.

I am thankful for the trials I will go through.

I am thankful for the happy times we spend together as a family.

I am thankful for today's sunshine.

I am thankful for the migratory song bird that we heard this morning...a sign of Spring!

I am most thankful for my Bible, growing closer to the Lord, and the opportunity to spend eternity in Heaven.