Day 82 - Praise God!

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name; make known His deeds among the people! Sing to Him; Sing praises to Him! Tell of all His wondrous works!" Psalm 105:1-2

I can't believe it! The pay exception went through! And not only that...but I received a $3,000 per year RAISE in addition to the pay exception! Hallelujah!

What a relief.

You know what? If the pay exception hadn't gone through, I would've trusted in God and said to myself, "Well, God doesn't want me here any longer. I will find where He wants me to be." I would've been nervous, sure. But I would've believed that God's ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts are so much better than my thoughts [plans].

Two hours after I received this fabulous news, another judge's office telephoned to see if I was interested in being their court reporter. Thankfully, I could say, "Not at this time."

I not only have a SECURE job, but I have extra money after my monthly bills are paid. And to show God how happy and grateful and humbled I am, I am going to sponsor an orphan child in another country. And I already know just the child.

Her name is "Gig," short for God Is Good. She lives in Africa, and she's only 3 months old. Her mother, unfortunately, could not take care of her, and she would've been an orphan...except my African friend, Umoh, adopted her from America and is trying to send money over for Gig's care, until such time as Umoh is able to bring Gig to America. Currently, Umoh's aged mother is taking care of Gig on a full-time basis. But they're struggling financially. So I am going to pledge to help this little infant girl by sending money to her for her care.

Praise God...I am completely humbled that I have this opportunity to help. And I am so thrilled to know that God has seen me, God has heard me, and God is guiding me.

Now, I will pass God's kindness on to another...

Days 80 and 81 - Thy Will Be Done!

As I type this, my Judge is standing before the Human Resources Committee, asking for my pay exception.

I'm not praying that I get it...I am praying that God's will be done...because I know that His will is the best for my life.

I will update this post after I know the results...which may not come for several days.

Yesterday was Election Day, and I had the day off from work. So it was me and my toddler, and I was excited to spend a whole day with her while my older children attended school.

The day started off just fine. I was able to sleep in until 7:00 a.m. Then I had coffee and read my Bible, then because I wasn't working, I dropped my older girls off at their respective schools and headed back home. Got showered and dressed and took my toddler to the local polling booth to cast my votes.

I kept saying the phrase, "You get to go voting with Mommy. How exciting!" And my toddler would smile and say she was excited. But the last time I stated it, my toddler asked, "Will I get wet?"

She thought we were going BOATING, not voting. She had no clue was "voting" meant. Ha Ha Ha!

Anyhow, we drove over to the polling station, I signed in and found an open booth, picked up my black permanent marker and began coloring in the circles. My toddler was antsy, however, and began crawling underneath neighborhing booths, nearly knocking one of them over. Then she ran over to the ballot box and tried grabbing "I voted" stickers....I was finally able to finish my voting, snatched my ants-in-her-pants toddler away from an old woman's purse and mumbled my apologies.

I figured since it was a day off, that I'd take toddler to the library and we'd sit and snuggle and read storybooks. However, toddler would have none of it. She was running between shelves, reaching for any book she could get her hands on and pulling them down. I was chasing behind her, a bit exhausted from our voting experience already. I finally wrangled her into a sitting position and began reading a board book. She was up and running again.

So I figured it was time to just cut my losses and head on home, when I bumped into a friend in the lobby of the library. We tried to have a conversation, but toddler was playing in the water fountain, spraying water all over the floor and down her attire. I took her by the hand, reprimanded her, and then tried to get her to stand still by my legs so I could finish my conversation.

At which point, she threw a fit on the floor, rolling all over the dirty library's lobby floor. I excused myself from the conversation, tried to pick toddler up. She did her stiff-as-a-board routine, complete with hysterics. I had to literally pick her up by the backside of her overalls and drag her out of the library, my other arm full of books.

At which point, my eyeglasses broke and fell on the ground. A screw had apparently fallen out.

I can't see without them, so we had to make a trip to the eyeglasses store to get them fixed.

While they were being fixed, toddler ran to each and every sunglasses tower, pulling them off and trying them on. I gave up. I sat in a chair and sighed and thought, "Phew. I'm exhausted. And it's only 11:30 a.m. How did I do this with my other two children?"

The rest of the afternoon went well, however. After toddler's nap and snack, we played outside in the leaves and sunshine for hours.

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Father, I pray that YOUR will be done in my life. Amen.

Day 79 - Family Fun

Whether you agree or disagree with celebrating Halloween, you have to admit that spending time together as a family is always a win/win situation.

We celebrated Halloween yesterday with a house filled with about 30 guests, adults and children, a buffet table filled with food and dessert, hot apple cider, fun music, and time spent with friends and family.

We all dressed up: I was an Olympic snowboarder with my snowboarding helmet/goggles, snowpants and turtleneck. My eldest daughter was Tigger, from Winne-the-Pooh, my middle daughter was a prom queen in my former high school prom dress, a tiara and long, curly blonde wig. My youngest was a lady bug...although she'd changed costumes about three times before finally deciding. And my husband even dressed up in a pink wig, a pink feather boa, and bright pink lipstick with large, movie-star sunglasses.

We had a blast preparing our home with festive autumn decor, pumpkins and spider webs and spiders across the front doorway. We made caramel apples, popcorn balls -- although the the popcorn balls had to be thrown away because they didn't turn out correctly -- and had hot apple cider with cinnamon steaming on the stove top.

Our guests each brought a dish to pass, were also dressed up for the fun night ahead, and chatted away beside the large fire we'd built in our livingroom's 100-year-old fireplace.

It really was a special and fun-filled evening together!

After all of our guests had their share of candies and pie and lasagna, and after we spent an hour picking up the leftover mess from our gathering, my girls excitedly told me of all their fun that evening. And when it was time for bed and I was tucking them each into their warm beds, each child hugged me and repeated over and over, "Thank you, Mama, that was SO much fun!"

My husband even enjoyed conversing with all of the guests and laughing at silly costumes.

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Thank you, Father, for our fun-filled evening as family...sharing our home and making memories together. Amen.

Days 77 & 78 - Mercy

Yesterday was Saturday and I spent the day at home with my middle and my youngest daughters. The eldest was working her weekend job as a waitress.

I spent hours cleaning, doing laundry and dishes...as usual. But the younger two and I trotted over to one of the last remaining farmers' markets of the season and even enjoyed some hot milk steamers from Starbucks! My middle daughter was to attend a birthday sleepover, so we then walked to the local movie theater and picked up a gift card for a matinee as the birthday gift, along with a pack of candy.

My toddler slept on the 15-minute stroller ride back home, so she didn't take a nap yesterday. I struggled to make it through my long afternoon with a cranky toddler and my body feeling as if yet another cold was coming.

My husband arrived home from work in the afternoon, eager and ready to do our workout together at the local athletic club. I went...but not happily. I was tired and my body was aching. Despite this, we enjoyed our time together strengthing our bodies and staying in shape.

After our workout, my eldest daughter was dropped off at a friend's home for a sleepover...which left only our two-year-old at home. I think my husband had plans for an evening spent together, just the two of us, once the toddler had gone to bed.

We even bought some expensive steelhead filets for a romantic dinner together, along with fresh asparagus.

But the dinner came out late, my body was now aching all over, and the toddler began an incessant cough that would not subside. Along with this, I made my husband sleep in one of the girls' empty beds because he was to get up at 5 a.m. to go elk hunting in the morning, and I did not want to be awakened at that time of day...and have the toddler awakened, as well. He wasn't too happy. In fact, he went to bed a bit angry.

Our night together completely spoiled.

Sigh...

That's the way it goes after 17 years of marriage, let me tell you. Times of romance are few and far between. Cultivating and maintaining our marriage was put on the backburner years ago as we tend to the daily grind and tend to our brood, tend to the home, tend to run-down vehicles or whatever else faces our day.

My husband loves me, but I know he'd like more time together. I know he'd like a more romantic side of me. I know he'd prefer more attention from me.

But reality is what reality is. I can't give 100% of myself to everyone in the household, especially when there's a demanding 2-year-old and a full-time job that drains me. And because my husband is a grown adult, he gets the shaft.

This is kind of a crazy place in life...we're no longer spring chickens, newlyweds full of BIG dreams and aspirations and grins on our faces. No, we're middle-aged veteran spouses who have weathered many a storm and come out on the other side a bit ragged and worn, but still standing.

I am saddened that I can't be the perfect wife to him. I hope and pray that God will help us to stay strong in our marriage...but more than this, that God would help us find ways to be stronger, not only for ourselves, but also for our children.

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My scripture for today really has nothing to do with marriage.

1 Timothy 1:13 says:

"Although I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man, I obtained mercy...and the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant."

Day 76 - Off the Mountain...and Into the Woods

I changed my photo to the woods. I realized that I'm no longer on the top of a mountain...lost and without hope.

Presently, I am following a clear path...I just don't feel I'm totally out of the woods yet. There's a lot of things that God needs to take care of in my life and my family members' lives before I can say that I'm finally in a peaceful meadow.

I am walking on a path now. And despite the trees surrounding me, there's occasional rays of light that strike the path before me...pressing me onward. And Jesus is guiding me now. I know it.

I don't yet know what my future holds, as far as my job. I don't know if I will get my pay exception and continue working full-time to support my family, providing health insurance and accumulating retirement benefits. I may end up not keeping this job due to the decrease in pay...

Where I'll go from there is anybody's guess...if I have to go that direction.

For now, I am trusting God to lead me and guide me...because I've asked Him to and because His word says He will.

So I wait and trust and pray for now...until the path takes me elsewhere.

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Father, thank you for bringing me out of the wilderness and into the woods. Thank you for making a path for me to follow...and thank you for teaching me how to find my way back to you and my path in life. Amen.

Day 75 - Divination

I wasn't quite sure what to write today, so I told myself to wait just a bit and I'd find some inspiration.

I found my inspiration for today's blog from an on-line Christian women's forum that I belong to. One member had posted about "divination," an attempt to "foresee" into some sort of situation through some sort of process or ritual. Divination can be seen as some sort of systematic method people use in order to organize random events of our lives.

Divination includes, but is not limited to: omens, sortilege (or casting of bones), fortune-telling, horoscopes, astrology, palm-reading, feng shui, sorcery, necromancy, dream interpretation, crystal balls, numerology, Ouiji boards, "seers," and seances.

The Bible is very clear on divination: it is an abomination to Him.

• Exodus 22:18: "You shall not permit a sorceress to live."
• Leviticus 19:26: "You shall not eat anything with the blood, nor shall you practice divination or soothsaying."
• Leviticus 19:31: "Give no regard to mediums and familiar spirits; do not seek after them, to be defiled by them: I am the Lord your God."
• Leviticus 20:27: "a man or a woman who is a medium, or who has familiar spirits, shall surely be put to death; they shall stone them with stones. Their blood shall be upon them."
• Deuteronomy 18:10-11: "there shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, or one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who conjures spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who call up the dead."
• Micah 3:7: "So the seers shall be ashamed, and the diviners abashed; Indeed they shall all cover their lips; for there is no answer from God.

We are not to know our futures...it is in God's hands. We are not to speak with our dead loved ones...they are in God's hands until we meet again. We are only to seek God's will for our lives...

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Father, I thank you for this very important study on divination. Amen.

Day 74 - How Deep Is His Love For Us!

Today I am at peace. I am allowing God to guide me and lead me, and that is such a great burden for me to unload.

I am so glad that my Heavenly Father cares for me so much that He will lead me and teach me and show me His ways.

I am so glad that He loves me so much that he helped form me in my mother's womb...and because He formed me, He knows the intricate parts of me: what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what areas of my life need improvement, and what areas of my life I excel in. So when I say He is leading me, I know He will not lead me where I do not want to go or where I will fail...

Today I will interview for my current position. It turns out that the other applicants weren't qualified for the position, and I was the only qualified applicant! This is a HUGE Hallelujah! Because now the Judge can better go to Human Resources and ask for a pay exception and get my pay back up.

This morning, my daugher's nanny arrived while it was still dark. She helped dress my toddler and get my toddler's morning milk bottle. We were both scurrying around getting last-minute tasks completed before I was to leave for work when I witnessed something that melted my heart.

My toddler had waddled over to nanny, wrapped her arms around nanny's legs and whispered, "I wuv you." Nanny instantaneously responded, "I love you, too, darlin." And they both hugged each other.

I was so overcome with emotion on several different levels. First, I was overjoyed that my child would love her nanny so much. Second, I was thrilled to pieces that nanny was so at ease in reciprocating her love to my child. And third, I was blessed by God to realize how important this other woman has been to my toddler. She is like her own Grandmother: hugs and kisses, cuddles and caretaking.

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So Lord, I thank you for my upcoming interview, and I thank you for Nanny. Thank you for guiding me and leading my family. You know our needs and our desires in ways that we can't even comprehend.

Ephesians 3:18: "May we understand, as God's people should, how wide, how long, and how high and how deep is His love for us."