Day 56 - Of Course I Can!

Hello, Saturday! And hello to piles of laundry, mounds of dirty dishes, floors to scrub, toilets to clean, and rooms to dust.

It's my day off of work...but I'm still working! This is the life of a working mother...

I think my husband is clueless as to all of the hours I spend every weekend cleaning and scrubbing. He gets a day off and he says, "What should we do!?" I get a day off and all I see is my chores list dangling in front of my face like a carrot dangles in front of a rabbit. Only the rabbit actually WANTS his carrot...I don't want my chores list.

sigh...

Well, at least I'm with my children...and it's sunny...and I have a 1:00 Mary Kay party to attend...

Life would be extremely boring if I didn't have this large Victorian home...or my three children...or my full-time job. sigh again.

So I'm hiking up my britches and rolling up my sleeves today and facing this day of slave labor head on. "Of Course I can!"

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Thank you, Lord, for this day. Thank you for our health and our warm home and our refrigerator full of food. We are blessed. Amen.

Days 54 and 55 - A Husband's Prayer

Yesterday was crazy. It was up. It was down. It was all around. I got home from work and was 100% spent. But I found enough energy to drive to the gym and work out with my husband. It was a pathetic workout, but I did it.

After we got home and showered, my husband and I snuggled on the couch. I was still strained and stressed from my whacko day, so I timidly said, "Can I ask you a favor?" Husband replied, "Sure."

I asked, "Will you pray for me? [big pause]...it only has to be ONE sentence. Please."

Husband said, "Okay," took a deep breath and said something like this, "I pray for K and her work situation. Thank you that she is a wonderful mother, a good employee, and such a good person. Amen."

I nearly cried.

I responded with, "That's the best gift you've given me in years. Thank you!"

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So THAT's what it feels like to have a praying spouse? It feels MARVELOUS! What an intimate thing, too...praying together to our Creator and Father.

Lord, I pray for more instances such as last night's prayer together. Thank you.

Day 53 - Psalm 91 "My Dwelling Place"

Psalm 91:1-2

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

And verses 9 - 12

"If you make the Most High your dwelling -- even the Lord, who is my refuge -- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone."

I am climbing back down this mountain towards my God and His fortress...

Days 51 and 52 - Finding My Joy...Again

I think I've already blogged about "joy." But I need to do so once again.
Because I can't find my joy...it comes in quick spurts over great periods of time.

I love when I feel joyful once again...only it leaves as quickly as it comes.

It seems that I'm criticizing my husband daily, my marriage daily, my home life daily, my job performance daily, my skills and abilities as mother, my housekeeping, etc...the list goes on.

When will I say, "I'm happy!"? And really, truly mean it? Because I'm so NOT happy.

So I will take this opportunity to list a few things that do make me happy, so I can focus on those and leave the rest behind:

1. I love my children! No matter how much they can strain my last nerve, I adore them!
2. I love my home. It's a beautiful antique Victorian.
3. I love autumn and the beautiful fall colors on the deciduous trees.
4. I love the smell of autumn, when the leaves fall to the ground in clusters and blow in the cool breeze.
5. I love that I have a large roasting chicken in the oven, along with carrots and onions and celery.
6. I love my washer and dryer.
7. I love my dishwasher.
8. I love my friends.
9. I love my family.
10. I love that I am getting closer to the Lord every day.
11. I love that I can get a sick day off of work and still get paid.
12. I love road trips.
13. I love hot coffee in the mornings.
14. I love when my toddler snuggles me and tells me she loves me.
15. I love when my husband brings me flowers.
16. I love when my husband cooks fabulous meals like grilled salmon.
17. I love that my eldest daughter helps me so much around the house: laundry, scrubbing, cleaning...she's so good!
18. I love that my middle child can make me laugh so hard!
19. I love that I can read.
20. I love quiet afternoons.
21. I love my cough medicine!
22. I love breakfast around the table as a family.
23. I love movies that make me laugh.
24. I love reading the newspaper.
25. I love going for walks in the warm sunshine.
26. I love my pillow.
27. I love that my girls are all so intelligent.
28. I love that I can go to church.
29. I love this laptop computer.
30. I love the smell that a homecooked meal makes.
31. I love the sound of birds.
32. I love the sound of the church bells ringing out the hours.
33. I love my ability to shop clearance and sale racks...or used clothing stores.
34. I love cell phones.
35. I love my mother's ring that has a stone for each child.
36. I love my Bible.
37. I love quiet time in prayer.
38. I love when God answers prayer.
39. I love sidewalk chalk and the drawings my kids make.
40. I love playing board games with my family.
41. I love when my husband fixes up the house or a vehicle.
42. I love going out to a movie.
43. I love popcorn!
44. I love a hot cup of tea in the afternoons.
45. I love to watch my children sing in their school plays.
46. I love to watch my children grow.
47. I love my garden and flower beds.
48. I love to kayak...most of the time.
49. I love to hike in the mountains.
50. I love to overcome obstacles in my life...and this part of my life is ONE BIG obstacle to overcome!

I really do feel better now....Thank you, Lord, for all of the above things in my life. They truly are blessings from you.

Day 50 - Sleeping off the Sickness

Today I'm sick in bed. Really, really sick. Coughing, sore throat -- in fact, it's on fire! -- sinuses ache, even my teeth hurt.

I have been a bit under the weather since Friday. But you know how you push through your sickness because you're too busy to lie down, put your feet up, and properly take care of yourself? Yep. That's me. I can't afford to be sick. Not when I work five days a week.

So the only time I can be sick...is on the weekend! Sad, but true. Such is the life of a working mother. And weekends are spent scrubbing and cleaning and doing laundry, usually. So guess what didn't get done today? You guessed it!

Ah, well...I have it better than those poor mothers living in third world countries who daily struggle for survival. They can never be sick. And if they are, there's no money to see a doctor, no warm and cozy bed to lie down in and rest, no vitamin supplement to go along with their chicken noodle soup. Poor women!

Thank Gods at least able to sleep most of my day away today.

I do feel a tad bit better...just in time for Monday!

Day 49 - As Unto the Lord

I'm just plugging along. Working full-time Monday through Friday, then scrubbing and cleaning on my weekends. There's absolutely no way to ever feel relaxed and rested with this busy lifestyle.

But I'm not alone. Millions of mothers around the globe are in the same circumstance as I.

"Work your fingers to the bone and what do you get? Bony fingers!"

That's something silly my kids used to sing.

It's Saturday morning, I've already done a load of laundry, cooked breakfast, taken care of my toddler, helped my 10 year old with her times tables, and read a few chapters in my Bible. And I've only been up for one hour. Yeah...that's my life. Hurry and do it! Because if you sit and relax, it doesn't get done.

My dream: a weekend where I can actually relax and sleep in.

But I'll take this busy life, I suppose, over the alternative: no children in my home. That would mean no laundry to wash, no times tables to go over, no toddler to chase after.

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"Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men." Colossians 3:23.

Day 48 - Emotional Abuse

Abuse does not have to be physical. It can be emotional, as well. It can be verbal through constant criticism, it can be controlling through repeated disapproval, and it can be done through berating, belittling, and intimidation tactics.

Emotional abuse systematically wears away at a person's self-worth, self-confidence, and self-concept.

With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, and criticisms eat away a person's ability to judge a situation realistically. Oftentimes, an emotionally abused person believes it is their own fault.

Types of emotional abuse are:

• Abusive expectations -- no matter how much you give, it's never enough;
• Aggression -- name-calling, threatening, ordering, and invalidating a person's feelings and thoughts;
• Constant Chaos -- the abuser is in constant conflict with others;
• Denying -- denying a person's emotional needs through punishment or humiliation, leading the person to mustrust their own feelings and needs/desires;
• Domination -- The abuser wants things his way, not your way;
• Emotional Blackmail -- using threats and other fear tactics to control you;
• Invalidation -- the abuser fails to acknowledge reality, "You are too sensitive. You shouldn't feel that way.";
• Minimizing -- the abuser trivializes your feelings and emotions;
• Unpredictable responses -- sudden emotional outbursts by the abuser;
• Verbal Assaults -- name-calling, screaming, threatening, belittling.